I was a little girl, and today I support my little girl

I was a little girl, and today I support my little girl

Hanin Muqdad – Bosra

I was fifteen years old when I became the wife of a man five years older than me. I thought I would build a successful family and be a happy wife and then a content mother. However, it turned out to be nothing but desires and wishes. The days passed filled with problems, and the marriage did not last, leading to divorce. I was a child, unable to manage a household and bear its responsibilities. I lacked the necessary experience to solve marital problems and crises. Perhaps, if I were older, I could have overcome them without divorce. Marriage was not as easy as I had thought.

Marriage was like death for a girl in the prime of her life. It confined me to duties imposed on me at an age when girls should focus on their studies and play, nothing more. I was thinking of an age older than mine and a life larger than my capacity. I thought I grew up quickly, but I was deceiving myself with lies to make life easier.

Day after day, one problem after another, my greatest achievements in life came: my spoiled little daughter. Until today, I still hope to achieve through her what I failed to achieve. Her arrival was a source of joy in my heart, dispelling my sadness and filling my heart with happiness. She was my celebration, but she did not live in the embrace of both mother and father together.

She was born in her grandfather’s house, my mother and father’s home, to which I turned after problems became too difficult to solve. She grew up away from her father, visiting him on weekends for one day and returning to me. Today, I watch her torn between her mother and father, unable to let go of either and unable to live with both. One day here and one day there, she does not know the meaning of stability, she does not know the common family as she was deprived of its warmth and security. I see her as a victim of a failed experience.

Today, I strive to make her the successful, mature, strong, and responsible girl I wished for myself, and most importantly, to continue her education so that she can be all that.

Today, I believe that our lives are shaped by fate and built by experiences. We engage, learn, fight, live, and respond. Despite the hardships I have faced, I still believe that the future is brighter.